Pictures and More

I forgot to mention that another one of the things we talked about with the social worker on Monday was about which Medicaid waiver lists we need to get Justin's name on. The lists have about an 8 year wait, so we need to get on them now to make certain that we get the benefits when we need them. One list is only for Texas and the other is only for our county, so if we move from either we go back to the bottom of the list wherever we move. These are state programs, so every state is different. For example, in Maine you can receive benefits the next day, but in Oklahoma, the wait is about 7 years. And the more we talked, the more I noticed that the "blue" states get more immediate help, but the "red" states tend to have lists, long lists. Just an observation. So we almost have to decide where we want to live for the rest of our lives, if we want some of these benefits. I am supposed to keep a spread sheet with all of the numbers and contacts I have with each of these programs. We are about number 23,000 on one list, and each year we get a letter with his number and I have to verify we want to remain on the list. So the file cabinets I have will be filled VERY easily!

And we had pictures taken today. We tried last week. That says it all. This week we had more success, and this is my favorite shot of the day:

I still cannot volunteer that Justin has DS. I don't know why! The photographer was perplexed why he couldn't sit up and she asked if he was premature. I just said no. I do know there will be a time that it is clear, so I continue to bask in the joy of ignorance. I spoke to another woman whose daughter is a couple weeks older than Justin and her daughter is very clearly DS she says. And people are always coming up to her and talking about their experiences with DS. I guess some of that would be okay, but I think I would have to ask God to filter that for me and to give me the words to say to those people. I believe that God can do so much more than we ever ask of him, and I think that is one of the things I need to start to pray about.

I also got some pictures of the boys together. A bit more of a challenge, but there were some good ones. This one is a weird angle, but it has Justin smiling a bit more. I was exhausted from making Justin smile. I wish the little feather-on-a-stick worked like it does on other children!

And Justin rolled over the OTHER way! On Friday we went to the doctor for the synegis shot and while we were waiting Justin rolled over on the exam table! Back to front... and now he has done it another time too. And he is doing front to back again since surgery. I am one proud mama!

So tonight Randy took Travis out and I put Justin to bed myself. We had such a good talk before he went to bed! We laughed and smiled and for the first time be really belly laughed! It was amazing. Almost makes me want to cry. I do have to work so hard to get responses that when I do I want to enjoy them. Justin is so fantastic, but it is incredibly easy to get lost in comparisons and by-gone wishes and dreams. I love that Justin is so attached to me, but I know I am on the road to be an over-protective mother. I think I want to stray down this path a bit longer though. The rewards are still quite nice.