I Am a Better Mom Than I Thought I Was

I went to the Mother's Coffee this week at the DSAH. I was able to go solo because my mother came to town and she stayed home with both boys. It was a wonderful morning. It was a small group and all the children were younger so I was able to ask more questions and find out what other families are doing. We also had a mother with a child with Prader-Willi syndrome which is more rare than DS, but has some similarities so she came to our meeting to find some support from people going through similar issues. I also met a woman whose daughter was born at the same birth center Justin was born at only 3 1/2 months earlier.



I was curious what other people thought about ECI services that they are receiving. Most of the women said that it seemed like the more serious the issues at birth the more services that are offered and they never really decrease. On the other hand, it is much more difficult to increase services later. One of the women has a 2 year-old son and he has never had anything but speech therapy twice a month. And he is doing wonderfully. He has accomplished all of his gross motor skills close to on-time. Their plan for him is to have things as close to "normal" for his because he will have to live in the "normal" world eventually. She allows for things to adapt and adjust, which I think is good. She summed it up by saying, "So I think in the end, I am just a better mom than I thought I was." I though that was great. Aren't we all? I know I think worse of myself than I probably should, and while it pushes me to do better, in the end it's going to be okay, whatever it is.

The other thing that I think was interesting was we all have a new perspective on odds. There was a .3% chance of Justin being born with DS. There is a 1% chance of us having another child with DS. That's a 99% chance of NOT having DS, but still 3 times the chance we had with Justin. The chance of the mother of the child with Prader-Willi to have had her is .08% and it happened. One of the mothers said that she would like another child, but it's a lot to care for one special-needs child, and even if a subsequent child does not have DS, there are lots of other syndromes out there too.

And then there's trust. While we may not see another child in our future, does God? Will I trust that his plan is better than mine? It is a huge leap of faith for me just to say, "Not my will, but thine be done" but LIVING it is sometimes beyond reach. I fall short time after time, but like I tell Travis, we serve a God who forgives us again and again, and who loves us through it all. I often need it as much as Travis!