Saturday, July 19, 2008

This Week

This was the last week we are going to be running around until after the surgery. We are wanting to stay close to home so we don't get sick and are forced to postpone the surgery. Travis spent several days with different friends and was a real trooper, but I think it is getting to him a bit. He has wanted mommy and daddy a lot more than usual. Randy has been working outside and that has kept him occupied on the weekends. Travis has always been quite a mama's boy, but I think he is maybe entering a daddy's boy phase. That has potential for me! I might get to sleep in on the weekends! We have had some success in getting Travis to sleep in later in the mornings. He used to cry and bounce up and down on his knees in bed until we would go upstairs and get him, often before 5:30 am. We decided to empower him and let him decide for himself when to get up. The only rules are the sun has to be up and he has to be happy (not crying), then he can come see mama (get out of bed and come downstairs). So now we are awakened to the sound of Travis yelling at the top of the stairs," Mama! Sun outside! Wake up happy! Come see mama!" I'm okay with that because it usually isn't before 6:15 am. Much better!!

I had a conversation with another mother of a DS child from TN. Her son is 3 now. I think it was the perfect age gap between our children: enough that it's not so difficult to remember the beginning, and still somewhat fresh and unknown. The books say that about age 2 or so that they can better estimate the abilities of DS children, but it varies still. We talked some about the practical, informational type things, but the thing I most took away from the conversation was more about the feelings. I have been a little nervous to say some things about what I have been feeling about Justin having DS. I remember very vividly the geneticist asking at the end of our first appointment, "What if he does have DS?" I thought, "What do you mean? He doesn't! We are just here for the test to show that everything is fine and then we don't have to worry about it anymore." But of course we said something about we'll deal with that when it happens, we'll be fine, etc. She said that the first 2 days were very rough. I can agree with that. I woke up the first day after getting the call and not being able to open my eyes very wide, they were so swollen from crying. She was able to say some of the thing that I had been feeling and she left me very encouraged. It's no just the "Oh, everything will be fine," but the deeply gut wrenching truth of, "It's not easy, but God will give you the strength for each day." She said that someone told her that she was happy that her child was born with DS. She said that she couldn't say that yet. She still feels like she wishes that sticky extra 21st chromosome wasn't so sticky. Will there be a time that I am grateful Justin was born with DS? Maybe. Right now I cannot imagine him any other way. She was the second person to mention that while we cannot guarantee it, it feels like God will take these sweet children and adults into heaven with open arms. Maybe it's true, maybe not, but I know that God has a plan for Justin and whatever it is, I will do what I can to teach Justin about God and leave the heart issue up to Him.

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