I haven't been really outspoken about Justin having DS. People will comment about how cute Justin is and I just agree and say thank you. I don't mention the DS. I figure there will be a time that it is very clear and I want to enjoy these comments while I can. When we were at the audiologist I got into a conversation with another mother. She asked if Justin was okay. She asked because we were at an office with several different pediatric specialists, including therapists, and a child would most likely have some kind of problem to be at this office. I didn't know how to respond. I had to think a minute. Her child was called back shortly after that so I just said that we had an appointment for his hearing. But that made me think even more. Is Justin okay? I would say that he's just fine. He may be slower than other children, but he really is okay. It wasn't what I planned for my child, but it's what God planned and I trust that there is a purpose to that plan. I want to learn everything that God has to teach me in this, and never become dependent on my own ability.
Some people have said that I look really good (which I think is code for "You don't look as tired as I thought you would!") and that they are impressed with how well I appear to be handling everything. I would like to think that God is the cause. I am not superwoman! Far from it! I have more than a few moments of weakness, but the strength I have comes totally from God. I asked Randy last week if he thought I was more mature than when we got married and the way he looked at me you would have thought I asked him if I looked fat! He finally did say that yes, definitely, I am more mature. I then asked why he married me if I was immature, and he said because he was immature too. I guess that worked out well for both of us! The maturity has come from so many things that we have encountered in our marriage, preparing us for Justin. All those things have been carefully and purposefully planned by God. Our responses have been both right and wrong, but each has taught us something. I am wiser, but not because of me, but because of my teacher, my God. Don't look at me, look at God. I want people to see God in me. I want to reflect God in all that I do and all that I am. I fail miserably sometimes (just listen to my phone calls with the insurance company!) Don't be impressed with me, be impressed with God. And I have far to go, but God has promised that he won't give up until he has completed the good work that he has begun in me. That is the hope that I have. That's how I can make it through each day. God will not leave me, and he won't leave Justin. What a fantastic promise!
Oh, and one more story: I had Justin's 3 month picture taken and I told the photographer right off that Justin is a little "floppy". I didn't mention DS. He blew me off and said that he had taken pictures of even younger kids. The poor man tried SO hard to get a smile out of Justin, with little success. Half way through he did say, "Wow, you were right, he IS really floppy!" I had to laugh! We'll be back, so he'll figure it out before too long!
1 comment:
Your focus is one to be commended. I am so glad that you are putting such trust in God and his plan. I know that cannot be easy and that comes from someone who daily deals with a disease. Sometimes it is hard to see or imagine his plan. We just trust in his greater vision. We are also all made in God's image and so is Justin. He IS a beautiful child with joy and energy. It is amazing sometimes how the joy of Christ seems to glow even more brightly through those that we deem as "different". I have a feeling that Justin will be one to shine ever so brightly. We are keeping you all continually in our prayers.
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