Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Be Still - Resolution #1

I have discovered one of the natural consequences of my mother moving to town, albeit temporarily, is that she shares stories about our family with the people she meets. People who usually happen to be my friends and acquaintances who were formerly unaware of my checkered background.  Just kidding, usually it's just a funny story that I would never share, but my mom thinks is just hilarious!  One of her favorite is when I was in high school and I was in dance class 5 hours a week, baton corp, dance team, youth group, the school play, band, and still struggling to keep up with my honors classes.  I think I was having one of my mini breakdowns, which I needed every once and a while to help clear my head and refocus, and my mom came in and suggested that maybe I couldn't do it all and I should think about dropping one or more of my activities.  I glared defiantly at her and said, "Watch me!"

I continued in all my activities, and mom thanked God for teenage driver's licenses, but now I see what I was missing, or what I neglected to consider in all of it.  I didn't spend any time with God.  Not really.  I ticked "bible study" off my list, but there was no "give", only "take".  I am embarrassed to say that times haven't changed all that much.  I can multi task with the best of them:  I read the Bible on the treadmill, I watch the news while ironing, I double recipes and freeze to save time, and this past week I even found myself putting my book on a stool so I could read it while I dried my hair upside down.  But quiet time with God, one-on-one, with no distractions is rare.

I freely admit the ratio of "amens" to "Dear Gods" is pathetically small.  Most of my "finished" prayers are quick, to-the-point, arrow prayers.  Anything longer than three or four sentences doesn't seem to get finished. I was amazed and somehow pacified when I heard a woman in a conference I attended describe some of her prayers which begin, "Dear God, protect and guide Tom and Julie as they travel today. Give them eyes to see any danger, eyes, oh, I need to remember to make an eye appointment for Beth, and I wonder how Beth is doing with the entertainment for the ladies lunch, and I need to call my neighbor and invite her. Oh, and I meant to ask her how her mother is doing...etc, etc, etc."  And the prayer is forgotten. She suggested writing down your prayers, which has been a huge help.


But the hearing is still an issue.  The listening and getting what God wants me to know.  I can't continue with a one-way relationship and still expect to grow and mature . So in 2011 I want to "Be still and know that I am God..." (Ps. 46:10a)  Here's my problem:  When I stop either my body falls asleep or my mind wanders. This might be a bigger challenge than I think, which is why I need your help to keep me accountable.  I don't want Dec. 31, 2011 to arrive with me in the same place.  Please ask me how this is going and I would love to hear/read suggestions and ideas on how you succeed in this area.

There will be other resolutions.  I don't think I shared the ones from this year with you.  I wrote them out and put them where I would be reminded of them often.  Some did great, others, not so much.  I had intended to resume studying Italian and I decided in June that that wasn't going to happen so I decided to switch to reading Moby Dick, which I have begun at least ten times and never finished.  I am pleased to report that I am over halfway through, but that still leaves me with over 200 pages out of 540.  It reminds me of the Grapes of Wrath in which the story alternates every other chapter with historical info.  I am learning about the various categories of whales, the history of the crow's nest, and how to extract the sperm from the whale.  Does it really matter??? Just tell me the story!  Anyway, one that failed miserably was playdates once a month with one of Travis' friends.  Not sure that happened...even...once.  That one goes on the list again next year!

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