Let Go and Let...Others

Now I understand a little bit why I couldn't publish this post yet. More things had to happen and my thoughts had to deepen a bit more.


I have always had an independent, do-it-ALL-myself attitude about everything. One of the hardest phone calls I had to make was the first time I had to ask for help with Travis when we had to go to the doctor with Justin. I know that people want to help but there is something about appearing able to do it alone. There is no keeping up appearances now. I have to let go, and let others help me. Help our family. From the prayer dinner we had last month, to entertaining Travis, to bringing food, and running errands, it's amazing. I am not sure how anyone can do it without a church family.

I have made a list of every one's name who has offered to help with anything for us and whenever I need something I take a minute to ask God to reveal the person's name who I am supposed to call and ask for help and then I look at the list. I read up and down the list and a name always comes to mind. Sometimes it is a name not even on the list. God's choice has ALWAYS been the perfect choice. One name led to help with house cleaning, one name led to dinner when we got back too late for me to cook, but even more than that, I have had perfect peace about Travis' care while I have been away. I think that is the most important lesson I have learned.

And I have learned the true meaning of the word "burgeoning". That would describe my freezer. When we redid our kitchen a couple of years ago I asked for a large freezer and I have done a good job of keeping it full. But this is beyond that! I have been preparing meals for us to eat while at the hospital and I usually don't have any problem deciding what to prepare, but I have been stuck on this one. I let it go and let it go, and just didn't know what to make to freeze. But over the last weeks and especially today, people have been bringing us food that they have cooked and portioned out in single serve containers. And now my freezer is burgeoning!

And I went to the grocery store yesterday, since Randy was home and he could stay home with Justin. I was planning on getting some snack stuff for the hospital, but all I managed to get was some of those individual drink mix packets. I had Travis with me and he was a bit antsy. So today we had a visit from a friend who brought not only food, but also all the snack food I could possibly imagine! AND what else did she bring.... water bottles! To go with my drink mixes! God fixed it so our purchases go together perfectly. He is awesome!

I had to call someone today to watch the boys while I went to give blood for Justin's surgery. We have a bible study teacher who asks us from time to time where we have seen God recently. While I was talking with my friend, she said that she sees God is me. Wow! I was awed by that! At first I was thinking, "How could that be? I am so weak sometimes I don't know how I survive!" But he uses the weak to show his strength, and he has a lot of weakness to use in me! So that makes sense, and I am thrilled to be his instrument.

I have actually been anxious for these days to come, just so that it could pass and we could move on. But now, I am getting nervous and wish the days would slow down. I want to spend as much time as I can with Justin and Travis. So the house has looked a bit like a disaster area and there is much more playing than cleaning up going on around here. I have put off packing until tonight, mostly because it seems a bit overwhelming to me. I feel like we are going to be living out of our car's trunk for the next week and a half! But we are going to have the BEST food ever because we have the best church family ever! We are having a "Be the Church" day this Sunday and our members will be out doing things to be the church for our community and in other ways. I know that God has placed us in this church at this time to be with these people. I am so blessed to be a member of our church and I love them all with the love of the Lord.