Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Just Like Big Brother

Justin is watching and following Travis' every move. Travis is not very fond of all the attention. His constant cry is, "I just want to play by myself!" He asks me to take Justin with me to clean the bathrooms and do laundry so he can play without Justin messing things up. I am afraid I might have gotten a little too carried away with the cleaning up teaching with Travis. Last week I said we were having some friends come over and Travis sighed and said, "But they're going to mess up my toys!" That is his biggest problem with Justin: He messes up, but doesn't clean up very well yet. No amount of explaining that I had to help Travis clean up before he learned to do it himself or assurance that I will clean up Justin's share is enough to calm his fear.

I have tried to give Travis time alone to play in his room without Justin. I will give him between a half hour and an hour of alone time. I am not sure yet if Travis is an extrovert or an introvert because while he is outgoing, he also needs time alone to unwind. So I don't want to force Justin on him all the time. But since I never hear Travis want to play with Justin, I decided that we need to tackle that instead. I told him that for as much time as he was going to play without Justin, he would need to spend that same time doing what Justin wants to do and play with him. So they ride their rocking horses together, play basketball (Justin's favorite game), or read books. It's really funny watching Travis read to Justin because he cannot really read, but some books he has heard so often that he can tell the story without being able to read the words. And if Travis is going to tell the story, Justin had better listen! He stops and tells Justin he is supposed to listen. Twister is another mutual favorite, so we do that one a lot. In my mind it's helping Justin with his colors, but really he just flops around on the mat. It does add to the challenge!





Travis' toys are much more appealing to Justin these days, which is what is making it so hard for Travis. Every truck we own is now the complete and sole property of Travis, and Justin is not allowed anywhere near it. (Of course any toy of Justin's that Travis wants also becomes his.) "Mine!" is heard echoing through the house at least 15 times a day. I do understand Travis' frustration. Justin is standing up and can reach more things every day, making it more difficult for Travis to have "safe" places for his toys. But Justin is learning more every day about how to play with things the right way (ie. not eating, throwing, ripping, sitting on...) And Travis wants Justin to play fire station with him, so now Justin wants to play by himself sometimes too!



And Justin likes hats as much as Travis!



I am not sure what the best answer is every time, but I am just so glad to hear Travis clapping and shouting when Justin accomplishes a new feat. And Travis might be just as proud as we are- he is quick to tell anyone who will listen about all the things Justin can do. That is a comfort, but I know the rest still needs work!

3 comments:

Kimberly Robbins said...

We have the same issues in our house, though I think you all are a bit ahead of us. Let me know how it goes and if you have any pointers!

~Erin said...

Oh girl, we are the same here at my house, but I think you are about a year ahead of us :) We are trying something new with Alivia. The rule is, if the toy is downstairs (living room, play closet, etc) anyone can play with it. Special toys need to go in "your" room. I don't know how you feel about toys in T's room, but you get the point - special toys get a special place. I even have some things that only Mommy has access to (games, etc) they come down once in a while. Hope that helps a little. It seems to have calmed some fits at our house :) Let us know how it goes.

Danielle said...

So then Travis would just haul all his toys up to his room and leave nothing downstairs! You should see the stuff he hauls up when I say he can play by himself. I see you idea, I just needs to brainstorm a way to adapt that to make it work here.