Sunday, October 25, 2009

Down Syndrome Awareness Month #4

It gives me such a good feeling when I can see how God is working everything together in all different aspects of my life. I don't always see it, but when I do it such gives me such a sense of awe and an unmistakable knowledge that God is not just out there, but that He is right here with me, teaching me and directing my paths.

Back last month when we attended the various events about DS and the microboards, the president of the local DS chapter asked me if I would be willing to be one of the new parent contacts for the area of town in which we live. She said it would only be about 4-5 a year for our area, and that didn't seem like too much, so I was inclined to agree immediately, but I hesitated and said that I would get back to her. I am glad I did, just because I am trying to be more purposeful in my time. Some things don't seem like that much, but if I am not the person to do it, not only is it taking away my time that should be spent elsewhere, it is also depriving the person who should be filling that role with the experience they should be having. Anyway, so during this time I have been thinking about what I would say to a new parent. Not someone waiting for a diagnosis, but someone who knows that their child is DS, and is faced with the "what now?" feelings.

This semester in bible study we have been discussing marriage and this week the topic was communication. Some of the verses we read had to do with communication in general, and how it should be for building others up, and not tearing them down. I know I have often thought of my words as so momentary and fleeting, and while they may not always be flowery and sweet, and least they are not cutting and harsh (most of the time...). But this made me think of things differently. Are my words useful and helpful?

I could not help returning to the words that were spoken to us when we learned about Justin and started sharing the news. It pressed into me in a totally new way how permanent words are. I can relive entire conversations from that time. And the feelings that those words invoked in me. Some words pierced like a sword. (Prov. 12:18) "Oh, it will be just fine. It's no big deal." Those are reckless words if ever I heard any. It makes me realize how crucial it is to chose words carefully. I want to build people up, especially new parents of a child with DS. We need some major building up! So right now, these are the only things I can think of that I really would have wanted to hear:

I know.

I understand.

I have felt every thing you are feeling now, even if it is too cruel to say out loud. I had a friend who had a miscarriage about the time that we shared our news about Justin and the thought crossed my mind, "She is so lucky..." I would never say that now, but at first the enormity of the task of raising a child with special needs made me wish it would just go away. Now it is just the task of raising Justin, and that is something I can do.

It will get better.



I am not sure what else there is to say. Not everything will be believed, but the words will stick and come back later to be a comfort. And if this task is something God leads me to, I know He will give me the words. I can rest on that promise.

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