Starting Over

I received a request today to pass on my name to someone who is having their child tested for DS. I quickly agreed and then spent the morning trying to think of what I wish someone would have said to me when I was waiting for test results. Randy and I never had that opportunity. We decided not to share our concerns with anyone, so no one knew we were waiting for test results. I know at least I felt a little silly saying that I thought something was wrong when even our pediatrician didn't mention anything. It's that parents' intuition, and a little nudge from God I think.

But we spent those 6 days waiting by ourselves. There was some anxiety, but mostly love, enjoying our new baby and coming to face the possibility that we might be in for more than we had planned. I know I spent lots of time talking with God. It might be better termed begging and pleading for him to make that test be "normal". I cried some, but couldn't cry as much as it felt like I should. I did not spend one minute on the computer searching for anything on DS. I clung to the fact that one of the physical markers for DS is also present in Travis. (And he doesn't have DS.) And mostly I waited, and wondered if anyone else could see what we had seen. But those 6 days. Not ones I want to do again.

Here's what I think I would say to someone who is waiting: Spend the time getting to know God. He will be your very best strength and ally. He is trustworthy. He knows all your fears and doubts, so telling him won't be shocking. He is faithful and what he has promised to do, he will do! Check out those promises in the Bible. If you cannot see God for the enormity of the situation, then look to where you saw him last. He's the same. The same way he worked and moved in other places, he is aching to do more of the same, if we let him. And if you can't seem to remember the last time you have seen God, then ask a friend. Ask me if you can't find anyone else who can tell you stories of the wonders God can do. I have tried to write of the amazing ways God works, and I hope that is clear. And the other thing I would recommend is to find someone who will just be with you. There is nothing a friend can say that will make the time go any faster, or any better. Just acknowledging how hard this is, and then listening to whatever the person wants to say. I don't think I would have said anything. But having someone to cry with and wipe my tears on would be enough.

If the test comes out negative? Wonderful! Just consider what God wanted you to show you through this time of waiting, and don't allow the lessons to pass unlearned. There is a point to everything. Sometimes more than one, and sometimes not just for the person going through it.

And if the test comes out with DS? I would say that while it's not what you thought it would be when you had your sweet baby, it's also not what you are thinking now. Thoughts of children mocking our son and him having to ride the "short bus" to school were all that we could imagine at first. It's some major grieving that has to happen, and it's not something that passes and never returns. There are always moments of whistfully hoping things could have been different. But there is also promise and joy. It's not "going to be okay", but you will survive. And soon, you will thrive. But don't get too far ahead of yourself. Take one day at a time. Don't let worry consume you. And above all, enjoy the precious gift God had given you.

At this point, I can barely see the screen through my tears. Like I said, there are moments in which I desperately wish things could be different, but they pass more quickly each time. I don't know who Justin would be without DS, and I love my little boy fiercely. His joy bubbles over and he is enchanting and captivating to all he encounters. He can bring me to the highest of heights and to the depths of frustration in a heartbeat. He is definitely the little boy I never knew I needed. This isn't going to be a comfort to you while you are waiting. I am speaking with only 15 months experience. That is just a drop in the bucket of Justin's life. I certainly don't know it all, but I know how raw the emotions can be. But I also live each day knowing that it's not me who has to do it all, and I lean on God for the strength to carry me when I have nothing left.

Accident Prone

Our family seems to have problems with trees (limbs, roots, stumps, etc.) and sharp objects. About 7 years ago we took out some trees and in the aftermath of attempting to remove the roots we broke several sections of the underground sprinkler system. And then a friend came to help us, and the first swing of the ax broke the main water line into our house, resulting in a geyser that watered our house until we could get a curb key to turn it off. (Did you know that no other wrench, pliers, hammer, etc. will turn the water off? Only a curb key. It is worth the cost to invest in one, or at least know which neighbor has one handy.) And then last year the stump that broke the patio door.

So yesterday Randy was working outside and he decided to cut out a section of root that was getting close to the front sidewalk. He and Travis worked and got out a section and then tried to get another section and whack! He hit another section of the sprinkler system. And since it was close to the sidewalk, it was hard to clear out the roots and dirt to fix the problem. You need to know that not only did Randy hit the one pipe, but also the one lying directly underneath. And the one he hit connects to the main control box for the sprinkler system. Too much fun! It was quickly declared a 2-day job, and after a bit more analysis, work ended for the day. Of course, Travis may not be the best helper, only because sharp tools are involved, but I say we need to teach him how to fix things if we are so accident-prone. Today, the repair effort continues, and with one more trip to Home Depot, we should be done.

Oh, and the patio door? Still broken... We're working on it... Other things just seem to come up...

Speech Therapy

We started speech therapy with our new therapist the beginning of June and we are really learning a lot! Maybe a better way to say it is that I am painfully aware of my lack of knowledge in this area. PT and OT seem fairly straight forward. Maybe not all the theory, but at least the visible evidence of progress and the exercises. Speech therapy has me a bit stumped. I can understand the explanations, but I can only plead ignorance when it comes to the progression of speech development and the "good" and "bad" things Justin is doing. Of course, I learned earlier that raspberries, while annoying at times, are actually "good". And I learned that while feeding it is "bad" for me to lift the food and scrape the food off into his mouth.

I have been asked several times what sounds Justin is making and if he is making any given sound. I often say no because I cannot recognize the sounds, but the therapists will then point it out to me, and by golly, he can make that sound! In fact, Char, his current therapist, said that she can hear just about every sound a child should be making in the "babbling" phase except for the back sounds (huh?) which she then clarified as the "k" and "g" sounds. She is extremely pleased with his current abilities. And he can imitate, which apparently is good for speech development. She makes sounds that she knows he can make, and then he repeats them, and then she changes it a bit to see if he will continue to imitate and make the different sound. Pretty clever, if you ask me. We'll see how Justin does.

Travis is in love with Char already, as she has a bin of trucks for him to enjoy while we are in therapy. And not just trucks, but also semis. And Travis discovered the first day that one of the semi trailers has stabilizer feet, which he has determined to be the very best part of trailers. (The feet support the trailer when it is not attached to the cab of the semi, for those of you without young boys.) He exclaimed in a very loud voice, "It has stabilizer feet!" To which Char replied, "I don't think anyone has used such a big word in this room ever!" And she is now equally smitten with him. Fun times!

Unintentional Stay-cation

We planned a trip to see family this week, but due to an unexpected illness we ended up cancelling and spending the week at home. It has been a very good week, an unanticipated answer to prayer for more family time all together. We wanted to do some fun and different things, but the weather here has been unbearably hot! We couldn't really do anything outside that didn't involve large amounts of water, so we had to improvise and just relax. We have done some regular things, like go to Justin's therapy sessions, but Randy was able to accompany us and meet Miss Penny for the first time. We also did a few "couple" things, like watch some movies and go out on a date night just Randy and me. We were able to do some housekeeping things that needed to be done, like clean out the pantry and apply for Justin's passport. It has been a really fun change of pace, but I think Randy will be ready to go back to work next week!

We had some lazy mornings, and I was able to make breakfast and eat with the whole family together (except for Justin, he can't wait for biscuits to bake). I couldn't convince the kids that it would be fun to sleep in though. Travis did some repairs around the house,





and then we went to the Children's Museum for some cool indoor playing. Can you see why this is one of Travis' favorite places? We were able to introduce Randy to some of what we do every week.




Justin even got into the spirit and tried to stand up next to the train tables they have. And then he got tired and just rolled around on the floor. Of course we had to take a ride on the carousel, and Randy was able to get away with only one ride, not the usual way Travis cons his grandparents (I get 3 rides because I am 3!)




You'll have to just trust me that this is at our favorite birthday restaurant. We celebrate every year at the Melting Pot for our combined birthdays. Mine is in May and Randy's is in July, so we split the difference and celebrate in June. We enjoy the long, drawn out meals and the quiet atmosphere that the Melting Pot provides. Anyway, it's a tradition!

But I think our favorite activity this week has to be swimming! It's too hot to do much of anything else, and our friends' pool is the perfect spot to relax. If you have ever seen an oasis, this is it! Palm trees and a rock waterfall, and a beach entry make for the ideal swimming hole! We invited some other friends, the TD family, and made a morning of it. With Justin having surgery last year, we weren't able to swim much, so this summer has been a real start over for Travis. He has been doing great and each time we swim he is more confident and enjoys the experience that much more. He is scheduled to begin swimming lessons next month, and I think he will be ready. He has gone from being unwilling to jump in the pool without holding on to a hand and not letting his ears go under water, to jumping in by himself and going under the water and coming up with a huge smile on his face! I am so excited for him to enjoy swimming as much as I did as a kid. One problem was that Travis developed a fear of the pool cleaner. (The one that crawls around the bottom.) It crawled up the side and sprayed him when he was going to jump in, and that was the end. He is now convinced it was out to get him!

The beach entry was the perfect place for Justin to sit and splash. There actually were a couple of areas with benches to sit with 3-4 inches of water on then where Justin could sit. He did require constant supervision, as he face-planted once when he leaned too far forward. It doesn't seem to bother him too much. He sputters and cries for a second, and then he's ready for more!

Travis started "swimming" with his water wings on. I am glad he is getting the idea of how to move in the water.

The TD family, sans Mr. TD. Someone has to work I guess!

Justin did some surfing on a kick board.

And playing with the water that pours out of the hot tub. Not necessarily very hot these days!

This is another one I just love!

This is how we discovered Justin's tooth the other day. Justin enjoyed this position because he could watch the trees blowing overhead.

The whole family enjoying the pool.

Princess TD and Travis relaxing after a tough morning of swimming. They are even holding hands! So cute!

Our week is coming to a close and it's almost back to "reality". Somehow being on vacation at home feels different than going away on vacation. It certainly involves less planning! I am so glad we had this time at home, and maybe we can do it again sometime?

And So It Begins...

Around the time we were in Arizona, Justin cut three new teeth. That combined with an ear infection, and the crazy schedule made it difficult to know what what upsetting him at any given time. Two of the teeth he cut were on the top, but not next to his middle teeth, which he already has. I actually missed the first one because I wasn't feeling that far back in his mouth! It was the second one from the middle tooth, and then he cut the opposite one of that a couple days later. We have been warned that delayed teeth/unusual order is one of the things we can expect with DS, but Justin really had been doing very well, until this. I filled in the dates on his little tooth chart and waited for the other to fill in. I was a bit concerned because the tooth seemed really far back, and maybe we would have more problems because the one tooth that would be in between would not be enough to fill in the gap. Then we were swimming last night and I laid Justin back to float on his back and I noticed something white poking through in the back of his mouth. I dared insert my finger and realized that it is the back part of his MOLAR! It wasn't the second tooth back, but his first molar! No wonder he has been pushing everything so far back to chew! I can only assume that the other side is also a molar and we can expect more fussiness until that one breaks through completely. So now it begins. I am going to need to feel the entire length of his gums to determine the cause of the irritation, and hope that the others fill in soon! And I might need another tooth chart...

Father's Day

We went to Randy's parents' house for lunch to celebrate Father's Day. Travis thoroughly enjoys visiting Me-Me and Pop, and as soon as we leave he misses them until the next time. He is a very good helper for Me-Me and Pop too. He helped get drinks out of the refrigerator for everyone.

He helped put cheese on the hamburgers.

And then he enjoyed his first corn on the cob. He is a big fan! Anything that can get eaten with his fingers! Oh, and at Pop's house he gets orange soda to drink. This goes along with my friend's theory that you get the good stuff at Grandma and Grandpa's house!

The flash is a little off on this one, but here's the family on Father's Day. Check out our red noses from the beach!

Randy even got out of mowing the lawn today. I managed to do it with Justin and Travis on Friday. Justin played in the laundry basket and Travis would retrieve his toys as he tossed them out. It worked better than I had hoped! And now Randy can have a relaxing Father's Day!

Beach Weekend

We spent the weekend at Surfside Beach with some friends. It was the first time in a very long time that we have gone anywhere just for fun, without visiting anyone. We had a great time just hanging out, relaxing with no schedule or obligation. It was Justin's first trip to the ocean, and I wasn't sure how he would do. I knew he would eat some sand, and he did, but he did better when he sat in the wet sand where the waves were hitting. He splashed and otherwise enjoyed the water. Here's some of the pictures:

The house where we stayed had a little pool table, and when we shortened the cues sticks, the kids did very well. Of course, they both won!

Here the kids are ready for the beach. On the walk to the beach Travis fell and rescraped his knee for the third time in about 2 weeks. The bad part was that he also scraped his stomach and the salt water kept stinging when it got in the scrape, so every half hour or so he would run over jumping and wiggling and ask for clean water to rinse off his tummy. Oddly enough, swimming fully immersed in the water didn't seem to cause a problem...

And here is enjoying the ocean. I introduced Travis to my favorite part of swimming in the ocean: Wave jumping! Our family loved swimming in the ocean, and as kids we really enjoyed jumping the waves as they rolled in to crash on the beach. Travis seems to be equally entranced by the ocean and sand.

No, Justin, not in the mouth! He didn't seem to mind the taste of the sand or the salt water, but he really didn't like me scrapping them out of his mouth! Justin enjoyed the water too. He watches everything intently and enjoys observing everything that is happening.

I just love this picture!

Later that night after dinner we taught the kids how to eat pixie sticks. Or we tried to teach the kids how to eat pixie sticks. They didn't quite seem to understand that they couldn't put the end in their mouth or the end would get clogged. I never really thought about how difficult that might be, but fortunately their ability (or inability) to eat pixie sticks probably will not affect their future success in life. Justin was just an observer. Maybe watching this once will give him a head start for his first real pixie stick lesson.

We did have to cut the weekend short on Saturday night because I have to work tonight (Sunday). But we all got some good sun and good naps on Saturday afternoon. So worth the trip!