Craziness

My mom just left to return home to Wisconsin.  Since her mastectomy the beginning of the month it's been crazy!  We have been to the doctor so many times, and my kids had to get in their share too.  We also are having our house painted, so the workmen have our garage full of supplies and they are banging on the side of the house as they repair the siding.  We have been napping at alternative locations for most of the week, and we even tried the "family nap" with us all in the same bed since Justin does not like other beds.  I found that I have to sleep between the boys or they mess with each other to avoid falling asleep.  I am slightly curious to find out what would happen if I left just the two of them alone in a big bed.  Not curious enough to try it though!

We also had my mom's friend, Sharon, in town during surgery and healing.  She and my mom stayed at my in-laws house because it was quieter than our house (especially with the workers!)  And they had the whole upstairs to themselves!  I am in awe of Sharon.  While I don't think it's right to reveal a woman's age, she is over 70 and she has the energy of a 50 year-old.  She was the perfect companion for my mother during this time.  She spend the night in the uncomfortable recliner in the hospital the night after surgery.  She emptied and redressed my mom's drain every day while it was in place, and then dressed the incision after that.  She cared for my kids when my mom and I headed to the doctor after surgery.  She sat with us when we heard that my mom would need chemotherapy.  She and my mom even did my laundry every Tuesday!  That was the last thing she said to me when she left: "You're going to have to do your own laundry next week!"  My mother-in-law said that Sharon was the best person to be here with my mom during this month.  I agree.  She was the perfect calming problem-solver that counteracted our impulsive scattered selves.  And my kids love her.  We are going to miss her a whole bunch, but we know that her family is glad to have her back.

So many things changed this month.  I am forever glad that God doesn't reveal all the events of our lives from the beginning.  I would have checked out a while ago!  But I am am amazed at the preparation that he provides, especially for our darkest days.  I was talking with an 80-something friend of mine last month and she told me how when she was in her 60s she got a job that required her to do a lot of driving around the area.  It ended up being a lot wider of an area than what she had expected, but when her husband go sick and needed care in the Medical Center, she was prepared.  She felt comfortable driving back and forth every day by herself for 7 months.  Wow!  And God knew that we would need to drive that road a lot and my car goes there by itself!

I am a little hesitant of that preparation now.  It is wonderful to be able to look back and see how God has worked, but as I see his preparation and the results come more quickly one after the other, I am getting a little nervous.  I see things happening around me and I am scared that God is using them to prepare me for something I don't want to experience.  If I shun certain experiences, am I denying God's preparation because it's going to happen anyway or will he choose another way to prepare me?  Do I have the choice?  Should I make the choice?  Sometimes I feel like I am blindly stumbling from decision to decision and I am missing the point.  Sometimes I wonder how God can trust me to make any decision at all!  My track record is less than stellar.  Let me just say that I am so grateful for grace.  Travis is going to recite his memory verses from the past two months in front of church this week and the verse from September was "Nothing can separate us from God's love" (Rom. 8:39)  We have been talking about this a lot and it's been neat to watch the wheels turn in his head to imagine what God is like that he will always forgive us.  It's been encouraging for me too.  Pretty cool how God send little reminders in ways we don't expect.