We really wanted to be there for the funeral, but we weren't sure how to make it happen. Her funeral was scheduled to be the same day that my mom started her radiation. And one of my aunts was visiting and not scheduled to leave until that day as well. So we considered options and debated the best plan. The holiday made flights a little crazy and they kept changing so we kept changing our minds: First we were all going, then we were leaving my aunt and just going the four of us (mom, me and the boys), then it was just me. We just couldn't decide. I drove my aunt crazy to hear us going back and forth! She likes everything nice and planned out, and that's just not the way we travel. We don't have that luxury when we travel on my passes. She just finally said that she trusted me. That made me laugh, but I was glad that she would go with whatever we decided.
So we went to bed still undecided and the next day we got up and went to our appointments. (It was Doughnut Day after all!) I got back to the house first and checked the flights. Of course, the next flight looked great, but it left in 2 1/2 hours, and I had nothing packed. The next flights looked bad, so it was this one, or a dead-of-the-night adventure. Since traveling and lack of sleep are always constant companions for our family, I opted for trying to conserve sleep as much as possible. So I kicked into high gear and made the reservations, checked us in, printed boarding passes, and packed myself and the boys and we were out of the house in 40 minutes. The house was a disaster, I was certain I forgot something, and I think we almost gave my aunt a heart attack.
But we made it!
I called Randy from the airplane and told him we were on and he couldn't believe it. He was checking the flights and he only saw one seat available. But we were on and we were on our way. We made it to Chicago and we had to put both my mom and aunt in wheelchairs. One fabulous wheelchair pusher pushed my aunt AND my mother, laden with her suitcase, handbag, and Justin. Travis wore his backpack and pulled one small suitcase. I had our backpack and pulled both car seats on our handy travel wheels and two rolling suitcases, one stacked on the other. We looked like vagabonds, I am sure. We had to go to the bus station at O'Hare, which requires going down an elevator, through a tunnel, and up another elevator. Each elevator required two trips since we didn't all fit into one. (Go figure...) That man earned his tips that day!
We made it, with only minimal complaining, and bought our tickets. We sent my aunt home to Indiana with quite a story to tell and we headed up to Wisconsin. We got on the bus and Travis found a seat next to a girl on her way home from a trip to Sweden. She was exhausted, but somehow managed to entertain Travis for 3 1/2 hours. I kept trying to get Travis into the empty seat beside my mother, but she insisted she wanted him to sit with her. Travis shared his Jelly Bellys with her. They played with Travis' cars and people. Travis invited her to our house. He laid his head on her lap. She raced around with him at one of the stops. She even let him use her phone to call Randy! They were best buds by the time we got to Madison and Travis was crushed to leave her. He was barely consoled by the knowledge that she had his phone number in her phone.
And then the adventure began. We stayed at my mom's condo in Madison. She has a roommate who lives with her, but my mom hasn't been there since November. The boys got in the bath and Justin pooped, not once, but twice. Then when we were getting them into bed, we found that the cat had peed in the bed. All the way through to the mattress. So we had to change sheets (this was just the beginning) and then we pushed the twin beds together and all slept together. Some more than others. I am pretty sure Justin didn't go to sleep until 5 am and then he woke up at 6:30 ready for the day. I had forgotten that since it's nice weather they leave the windows open all night and they also live very close to the airport. Where fighter planes take off regularly for training assignments Starting early in the morning. Gotta love it...
So we were up and watching TV quite early. By this time I figured out what I had forgotten: my camera and my belt. So no pictures of the trip and I spent the whole time with my pants falling down. I tried Travis'. It didn't work. No worries! We managed to get breakfast, get dressed, and get to the funeral in plenty of time. It was beyond awesome that we could be there. I think Mommy Sharon nearly crushed the boys with her hugs as she murmured, "You came. I can't believe you came. I am so glad you came."
Since the funeral was at the church my mom attends, she was able to see lots of friends and people who have written her cards faithfully for the past nine months. The boys both fell asleep during the funeral (go figure...) which was a beautiful tribute to Mindy. (The funeral, not the sleep...) Mommy Sharon and Daddy Jack are both very involved at church and many people came to support them. There is also a Laotian church which uses the building and several of its members were there. There was a sandwich pot luck afterwards and we spent time with the family. Justin made friends with one of their grandsons, Josh. He jumped right up on Josh's lap and settled in. He was quite comfortable and did not want to leave.
It was hard to say goodbye, even though we planned to see them the next day. No one wanted to leave. I think that's how funerals are. A simple good-bye means so much more. Justin added some humor to our departure by doing his tiger impressions. The routine goes like this:
Travis: Justin, what does a tiger say?
Justin: ROAR!
Travis: Justin, what does a tiger say?
Justin: ROAR!
(Repeat endlessly)
Justin has a pretty fierce roar and it's hysterical coming from a body so small.
We went to my grandmother's house next. The plan was for the boys to nap during the car ride, but the funeral nap was just enough to take the edge off the sleepiness. And since we were going right by the cookie factory, we had to stop there. So sugar took away whatever drowsiness remained and they were both bursting with energy by the time we made it to grandma's. It was great for my mom to be able to see her mom, if only for a few hours. And I always treasure whatever time I get with her. The boys sang some songs, said some of their Bible verses, and in general hammed it up. It was great!
The entire day was filled with dirty diapers. I must have changed at least eight dirty diapers. And Justin was incredibly wiggly. Not being in his usual locations he wanted to squirm around and see everything and get away to play. So I was forever attempting to contain the contents of the diapers and forever failing. Since Justin is starting to become familiar with using the potty I always let him try whenever he asks. He asked at grandma's and so I put him on the toilet only to get poopy smeared all over my arm. By the end of the day there was not enough soap to take away the smell. My hands had the aura of poop. Or at least flower-scented poop. It was too much! Oh, and to end the visit Justin pooped in my grandmother's bathtub.
We got back to my mom's condo late and tried to put the boys right to bed. It was close to 11 by the time the succumbed, but of course it was another night of rolling and flopping. Justin crawled over Travis to be next to me and then he slept on top of me and Travis in the crook of my shoulder and by 7 am they were still sleeping and I had to go to the bathroom like you would not believe! Of all mornings! I was able to get out from under them and make it to the bathroom before we had to change the sheets again. But it was not long before their sleepy smiling faces appeared in the living room.
It was time to get packed and make one final visit to Mommy Sharon and Daddy Jack. We had a great time visiting with them. Most of the family had already gone home, but a few remained. There was the business of cleaning out Mindy's house and signing more papers. Nothing fun. So we allowed for some diversions. We ate lunch with them to help eat up some of the food brought by friends. A funny story was that the older kids were left to receive food the first days as the adults were at the funeral home making arrangements. They were left with strict instructions to write down what everyone brought so that appropriate thank you cards could be mailed. But they didn't know who the people were bringing food! So they did what any technologically savvy youngster would do these days: take a picture of the person! Pretty smart I think!
We enjoyed nibbling at the mountains of food that remained from feeding the family of 25! Justin was enjoying some salsa and got a bit of jalapeno that just about sent him to the roof. I ate some mighty delicious carrot cake. Travis got some awesome whipped creamy jello something. We did not leave hungry!
But eventually we had to leave. When we got to the airport our flight was delayed two hours taking our 2 1/2 hour connecting time down to only 20 minutes. My mom had managed to reschedule her radiation to start the next morning at 7:45 so we really needed to get home. The airport we connected through had another tunnel we needed to navigate (I am starting to dislike tunnels...) so I took off with the boys to get to the other plane and beg them to wait for my mom. I planned to pull the radiation card if necessary. Fortunately her hair is still really short so it's obvious she is going through chemo. We made it, with time to spare to watch a little Direct TV on the airplane before leaving. I am starting to like the TVs on the plane. We never pay for them but the free preview lasts long enough to settle the kids down so I can say that it's time for nap/sleep when the free preview ends. It worked this night and we got at least an hour of sleep before landing. And after some crazy car swapping we got home and in bed close to midnight.
So when did the kids wake up, you ask?
6:40 am
Bring on the coffee...
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