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Some events lately have caused me to rethink the approach have been taking towards my kids.

This is how I feel like I have been interacting with them:

Travis: teaching, growing, nurturing, exploring, thriving, instructing, developing, testing, stretching, inquiring, preparing

Justin: protecting

That just about sums it up. And I am not proud of it. I just spoke with Randy this weekend about warning Justin before we do something because he knows so much about what is happening and I don't want to catch him off guard. I am so inclined just to attack his face with the washcloth after a meal or take him up off the floor while he's playing to change his diaper, all without warning. I wouldn't do that to a nearly 2-year-old. I think because Justin can't walk that he needs me maybe more than he really does. And that somehow we are more connected and I have more rights over him, but none of the obligations that accompany those rights.

I sing songs with Travis and read him books, but Justin doesn't sit still long enough to do anything very long, so I don't even try. I don't work on naming body parts like I did with Travis. Not often enough. I don't ask him to make choices, choices I know he can make. I don't ask his opinion. He is babbling like crazy. I know there is some intentionality, but I miss it completely. He is very sincere too! The longer educational process is already starting. I just didn't realize it. I am slower to catch on than Justin. I guess I knew that would happen.

Last Tuesday before Bible study, where we can leave the kids for 3 whole hours to have study and then go to lunch, without kids, I talked with Justin about how he would eat his lunch. He refuses to eat for any of the ladies in the nursery anymore. He shakes his head "no!" I told him that someone else would be feeding him and if he didn't eat he would have to wait to eat until dinner. He shook his head "no" again and I said that was fine, but I just wanted him to know. He didn't eat until dinner that day, but I should have known. He told me after all.

He is getting preferences at meals. If there are french fries around, he won't eat much of anything else. I have to hold a french fry, and a fork with whatever meat or vegetable we are eating and tell him that he can have the fry if he eats the meat/vegetable. He shakes his head and cries, and puts his head down, giving me a pitiful look. Then it's up to me to cave or stand firm. (It goes about 50/50.)

And my favorite: Justin likes music, and likes to dance in his way. He will bee bop along with whatever Travis is singing or whatever CD is playing. When Travis was little I would take his hands to do the motions of the songs as I sang them. I haven't done that much with Justin, but Justin shocked me last night. One of Travis' favorite songs lately is "God's clouds are gently floating..." ( I don't know song titles, sorry...) with all the hand motions. Justin sat on the floor behind him and mimicked him astonishingly well! Then Travis moved on to "I'm all wrapped up, I'm all tied up, I'm all tangled up in Jesus" with the accompanying hand motions and again, Justin jumped right in and did exactly what Travis was doing! He wasn't singing, but he knew what the song was and how to participate the best way he knew how.

I am struggling to learn how to be Justin's mom even more than I struggled to be Travis' mom when he was this age. Since Justin started crawling he is more independent. It's now more difficult to leave Travis for Bible class than it is to leave Justin. But that's a whole different issue. I need my eyes to be opened to ways to push Justin and stretch him the way that suits him. Today we were doing some "school" with Travis and Justin colored while sitting on my lap while we did some workbooks pages. He did more coloring for me than he often does for Miss Caroline. And he asked for several different colors too. We might have to make her a picture for therapy!

I get tired so often and I just want it to be easy. I am sure all parents want that sometimes. Okay, maybe most times! For right now I just want to see Justin through new eyes and not miss the potential and the ability that is right under my nose. I am ashamed that I seem to have written off my son and not wanted the best for him when it was so easily available. Singing, talking, interacting- not difficult concepts! But they can lead to so much more. That will be fun to see!

Spring is Here!

Spring has finally sprung and to celebrate we took a trip to the park. Last week we went to a park that we visit often, but it was the first time this spring. Justin loved it, but I had visions of what the summer will be like. Justin wants to crawl, but most of the parks aren't designed for crawlers with lint-picking (or any kind of picking and putting in one's mouth) tendencies. The park is covered with wood chips. But the play area is a series of bridges and slides so Justin took his first gander at a solo trip down the slide. I was right there and I caught him at the bottom, and he loved it! Most of the time was spend working on teaching him that he couldn't just dive at the slide, you need to sit on your bottom and scoot off the top to slide. But he definitely wanted more! It was really difficult for me to keep track of him because the railings were really high so he could crawl off at any time. I was slightly neglectful of Travis because I was watching Justin so closely. Travis did take his first solo down the firepole though! That was a big step for him. He wanted Justin to go down too, since we are the DeCarlo firefighters, after all.

I missed pictures of that venture, so I made sure to bring the camera to catch some of this trip. This park was perfect for Justin! It had some of the rubber matting underneath the play area so it was soft for crawling, but not comprised of a million little pieces begging to be eaten! There were 2 areas too, one for littler kids and another for bigger kids plus swings (including the baby "bucket" swings!). And they were close so I could watch both kids at the same time. Justin could crawl all the way up to the top and slide down, mostly by himself! We got some great pictures, some even without the cheese face!

Here's ready to go at the top. This time he did so much better setting up to go down the slide. He crawled up and turned around and sat up at the top. And then he leaned forward to give himself the momentum to slide!

And he did it all by himself! He cackled with glee!

The last time down the slide he decided to go down the left side instead of the right and I couldn't get there quite fast enough so he did a face plant down the slide. It's major allergy season here with the pine trees blooming so everything is covered with yellow powder. He has already cleaned off the right side with his bottom, but the left was still yellow, so he was yellow too by the time he made it to the bottom.

Even his forehead...

The Next Step with Endocrin

We received a call from our Endocrinologist and she said that Justin's TSH levels are still high, but his T4 and T3 levels are within the acceptable range. We also received a letter to confirm these readings, and another diagnosis of compensated hypothyroidism. So no treatment, but close followup and additional diagnostic study. "Additional diagnostic study" means a thyroid ultrasound, which we have scheduled for the end of April, the earliest available appointment.

This is what we expected to hear, but I am still unclear as to what it matters if the TSH levels are high if nothing else is done about it. Obviously the thyroid is working hard to keep the T3 and T4 levels within range, bu until they go out of range, there is no treatment.

So I have been doing some research into constipation and DS, just because I feel like there has to be some other factors that influence his situation. It sounds like there are several options we can try, plus some of what you guys recommended. I really appreciate all your ideas!

Rodeo Time

We were able to make the trip down to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo again this year. We really just went to the Livestock Show, and really not even that. It was just the kid's stuff that we were able to hit. That's where we are at in this season of life! We learned last year to go right away when they open to get a few minutes before all the school groups arrive. And make a beeline to the place we wanted to go...THE TRACTORS! Yes, you saw it last year, but it's a fave, so we were back. We discovered that the tractor wheels are good measuring devices so this is Travis last year...



And here is this year!! I think the tractor tire got smaller because there is no way my boy could have grown that much!! Do you think??

The whole family got involved and we got a group shot for the tractor room in Grandpa Al and Tammy's cabin. They had the screen again with the pictures of a field to look like you are really driving. Justin even knew what to do when he got in the cab: He grabbed the wheel and even tried to honk the horn!

And then we started Justin's measuring wheel pictures, with the "cheese" face of course!

We checked out all the other animals there: rabbits, chickens, goats, cows, turkeys, sheep, pigs, bees, and horses. We saw the new baby animals born only yesterday, we watched the milking demonstration, and we petted a rabbit.




Travis wasn't keen on meeting Elsie, the Borden's cow. He was okay from afar, but getting close was too much.

Justin had the same feelings about the petting area. He did NOT want to get close to any of the animals. They all came looking for food from us, and Justin screamed vehemently that there was nothing to be found here, and they should just move along!

Randy introduced Travis and Justin to longhorn cattle and took the time to begin their indoctrination into the Aggie way of thinking. Poor kids, they're doomed! Travis is a much better Packer Backer than Aggie though, so I might need to take over the Aggie brainwashing.

Then we went outside to the Kid's Country area and went through the Farmer's Market. They give the kids baskets and chicken feed and then they go through this route and feed chickens, plant seeds, harvest crops, and then sell them at market to make money. Then they "buy" a snack in the store with their money. It's all pretend items, but the kids enjoy it. They gathered wooden eggs, and planted plastic chips (think poker) with pictures of vegetables on them, picked plastic oranges from trees, and then "milked" a cow that gave water. They sorted everything into bins at the end and then were able to choose a snack that connected with something in the route: orange juice, fruit snacks, rice krispie treats, etc. Travis enjoyed it, and Justin liked the round items he got to gather like the egg and the orange. Again, another "cheese" face!

And our last stop was the pig races! We learned last year to get there early! They race the pigs for oreo cookies, which Travis loved. I think he would have raced for oreos too! They raced 4 pigs and they divided the stands up to cheer for 1 of the 4 pigs. We were pig number 4 and I think in every race but one our pig came in dead last. I wasn't too devastated. Travis said that this was one of his favorite things about the rodeo.

And what rodeo would be complete without the obligatory fried food?? We hit up the "Fried WHAT?" stand and asked what was the best. She shot back, "Which of your kids do you like the best?" I said, "It depends on the day." Anyway, her point was that it's all good. They had fried cheesecake, key lime pie, oreos, pickles, mushrooms, green beans, twinkies, snickers bars, and on, and on, and on. We settled on fried pickles (a tried and true favorite thanks to a friend who had a fried pickle craving during her pregnancy) and fried oreos (we love oreos, so frying them can't be bad??) Oh. My. Gosh. So good. They put toothpicks in the creme part and froze them. They are then dipped in a funnel cake-like batter and fried. The oreo gets all melty and so it's like creamy melted chocolate in funnel cake. Randy's comment was, "I could get so fat on these things!" It's a good thing they aren't easily accessible on a regular basis. And Travis ate 2 and asked for more. Justin wouldn't even try them. His loss, our gain!

It was a super fun family outing. Both boys did really well and the weather was beautiful. We got to ride the train, which Travis thought was pretty cool. We topped off the day with a visit to Randy's new office. Travis earned $2 helping Randy's co-worker, Melody, unload boxes of paper and refill the copy machine. Then he said that he would be back the next day to pay her money for him doing more work. That would have been Saturday, so she said she wouldn't be there, but it would be good if she could earn money from home!

Traveling with Kids Part 2

As far as on the plane, I wish there was more insight I could give. There are no miracles, no sure fire tricks, nothing that can guarantee blissful, happy children. But, I can offer a few tips:

• Landing is harder on the ears than taking off. Offer drinks and gum as appropriate.
• Make certain children understand the importance of seat belts and other emergency equipment. Show them where lifevests and the oxygen compartments are located. Help them identify exits and how to find them in an emergency.
• When we travel 4 of us (sometimes me, the boys and my mom) and we have seats 2 and 2 behind each other, I put Travis behind Justin so if he kicks, he kicks Justin. I will reverse this as they grow!
• Bring new toys, coloring books, reading books for entertainment.
• Limit toys with sound, or make sure the sound can be turned off!
• I also sing in a low voice to entertain the kids.
• Snacks! So vital! You cannot guarantee what is going to happen so always, always bring food. More than you think you will need. The airplane is not a fully stocked kitchen. Trust me on this. There is no refrigerator or a microwave.
• The two things in my "liquids" bag are chapstick and some Sunbreeze balm- this helps with ear block.
• You can walk around some, but make sure you stay seated when the seatbelt sign is on. I try to keep my kids seated so they don't think they can get up whenever they want. And clear air turbulence (unexpected bumps) seems to be more prevalent, so please be careful.
• Play games and talk about what to do when you get there. Make a thank you card to leave with grandparents or whomever you are visiting.
• Games like rhyming, spelling, practice learning Bible verses, phone numbers, addresses, colors, numbers are all things we have done. Bring things for rewards, like jelly beans or M and Ms.

Does anyone have any other ideas for passing time on an airplane or in the car?

Traveling with Kids

Okay, traveling with the boys. I have gone through many phases and issues with traveling since Travis was born. I found the first picture of traveling with Travis:

We went to Wisconsin to see my family since Randy left for a work conference. This was before the days of no liquids and shoe searches. I schlepped everything with me for the week trip. When I traveled with only Travis I never checked anything. I could fit all of our clothes in my rollaboard and then I attached his car seat to the suitcase and then the backpack and baby/boy as you see in the picture. Things are a little different now, but I'll tell you what process I use for traveling with the boys.

My travel theory: If I want to have it, I should bring it. Don't expect the airline to care for my children. If I bring it, I should be able to transport it (lift and move). I don't use electric carts in the terminal.

Packing:

I have spread sheets called "Traveling with Travis" and "Traveling with Justin". Everything I need to take is divided into categories: Clothing, Toiletries, Eating, Toys, and Miscellaneous. What is in each of those categories changes based on age of course. But I list everything that I need to take, from pants and underwear, to a sippie cup and trucks. And I mark which things are liquid, just in case I decide to bring it on the airplane. I can check things off as they are gathered and I can take the list with me for gathering items on the other end. It has helped me many times not to forget a nightlight we have brought! If you want copies of these, I can e-mail them to you.

Now I use a large suitcase for all three of us. I use only one bag so I only have to pull/manage one bag. I pack the clothes in outfits for ease in dressing in the morning. I try to put the boys in matching clothes for the flights to and from so if I lose one I can say, "He looks like this!" and point to the other one. (Even if it's just blue shirts and jeans!) I always take diapers with me because then as they are used I will have the extra space for the return. It may just be me, but things never fit in the same coming home, and I always bring home more than I take. Maybe it's just our family. And I take a small duffel bag in case we acquire more than I planned!

Then for the plane we take a backpack, the one in the picture. It is great! It has two small zipper pockets for cell phone, camera, keys, wallet, and kleenex. (I always travel with kleenex, even if no one is sick!) Then the larger compartments fit, from small to big: 1- changing pad, diapers (4-6) and wipes (lots, in a plastic bag), 2- toys for Justin, 3- a change of clothes for each of the boys, from underwear and socks to pants and shirts, DVD player with headphones (airline rules require headphones) with the charger, and lunch bag.

Travis has his own backpack that has his sippie cup (empty- filled after security) and toys for the trip. I let him take whatever he wants, but just make sure it's not too heavy because I don;t want to end up with it! I think a backpack is better for Travis because he runs and jumps and needs both of his hands. I would end up his rolling bag if that's what he used.

The lunch bag has yogurt for Justin (tubes) and grilled cheese sandwiches. We always travel with grilled cheese. Security can be picky about peanut butter and jelly sometimes, but if you put it in your "liquid" bag it would be fine I think. And mayo scares me. For us, grilled cheese works the best. I have never had a problem with an ice pack, but we have always had a baby so that might be it. If they want to take the ice pack, I would let them. I have 2 quart sized plastic ziplock bags that I could take to a food vendor to fill with ice (and then double bag for leaks). I also travel with plenty of non-refrigerated, non-crushable snacks like dried fruit and granola bars. I also have a bib and Justin's cups. This past trip I put all of the baby spoons in the checked bag accidentally and so when I fed Justin his yogurt I had to use a stir stick from the airline. The back end worked just fine for our purposes because it was thick. I carry a disposable water bottle that I pour out and then refill after security. I am into minimalism so when it's empty it can crush slightly and then it doesn't take up so much space! On the airplane I request water with no ice and then pour it into the bottle. My first 2 flights with Justin I ended up with wet crotches when he tipped the drink all over me. Water is the safest and least staining liquid.

Traveling:

I do not take a stroller unless I know I will need it for something on the other end for something other than through the airport. They require both hands and they do not carry both car seats well. It's just extra for me. Car seats are the bane of my existence. I know they keep the kids safer, but they are so heavy! That being said, infant car seats are easy. The base is not necessary and I do not travel with it. It fits like the picture shows, over a rollaboard suitcase. That's how we transported it. Unfortunately, were never able to travel while Justin was in that seat, so I am not sure how it would work with Travis'. I still use a car seat for Justin on the airplane, but not for Travis. I carry them both through the airport with me and gate check Travis'. Since we travel stand-by, we never know if we will get on, and don't want the car seat to go and us not. And even if the flight has lots of seats, the airline doesn't have the same concerns about my children's safely as I do, and they don't care if my car seat doesn't arrive. I feel that if I take it to the door of the plane I have the best chance of it arriving with me. I know that is still not guaranteed, but that's a decision I have made for our family.

So, how do I get 2 convertible car seats through the airport? I am still learning. I tried using luggage wheels and strapped them both on it together. That works okay, but it takes time to strap them on. I use bungee cords for this. And it's not very stable. Very tipsy. I have debated getting a good sturdy set of wheels, but they are expensive. This past trip I just used the smart carts, except they are not always available at the destination. So that is out. This is my next idea, but expensive as well. It's a cart that hooks onto car seats (lots of models, I checked) and turns it into a stroller. I think I could just strap the other car seat on top and carry Justin, until he gets bigger. I am looking on Craig's List and other discount places. Renting a smart cart is $4 in IAH so really this would pay for itself quickly. And I am sure I could resell it. My boys are small, so they will be in car seats longer than most.

So I travel with: Justin on front, backpack on bag (this doubles as my purse/diaper bag during the trip), pulling large suitcase and 2 car seats. Travis walks with his backpack. I dress in light clothes because this is a workout for me! On the plane I have a backpack, car seat and the snugglie carrier. Justin is still rear facing since he is not 20 lbs. yet, but on the airplane he is forward facing since it doesn't fit the other way. I use a seatbelt extension to buckle it in. Ours fits without it, but just barely. It took me about the whole time the plane was unloading for me to unbuckle it the first time. A seatbelt extension gives the extra length to make it easier to unbuckle. Ask a flight attendant for this, and please return it when you are done. We always go to the bathroom before the flight since Travis hates airplane lavatories, and all three of us do not fit very well. I do not drink much, and neither do the boys, and we can usually make it the whole flight. The longest flight I have been on was three and a half hours, and Justin made three dirty diapers. So. not. fun.

As for toys, we only take toys for the trip, so things that we can play with while seated. The DVD player is the best! It really entertains Travis. I try to leave Justin in his car seat, if possible, so he accepts that he has to be there for the trip. I do not take "toys" for me (books, ipod) because I spend the whole time entertaining kids, and then I would just have to carry it for nothing. Maybe someday... Justin takes work! I admit that I often count the minutes until we arrive.

That's all I can think about now. If you have specific questions, please ask. I will do my best to answer based on my experience. I don't travel regularly with a pack and play, but we did once, and we packed ours in a bat bag to make it safer. We had to separate the crib part from the bottom board, but it worked. And I don't have to pay baggage fees (and our weight limit is higher), so my perspective is a little different. I have to say that prayer is now a huge part of my traveling. God answered mightily on this last trip, and I plan to give each travel experience to Him in the future. He took care of us FAR beyond safe travel. I was smiling on both ends of the trip, which is huge. It was safe and even a treat!

February Prayer Request Follow Up/ March Requests

Another month over! They go so fast! And February was a whirlwind with a birthday party, house guests, the women's day at our church, and traveling to TN. A good month though.

February Follow-up:

• Justin has made huge progress in weight bearing! He is now pulling up straighter, and even getting up on his feet while he is on his hands. At first he would only get onto his feet, but today he started taking a few steps, on all fours. We call it bear crawling, if that helps you picture it better. I did get a few pictures today at the rodeo (future post, I promise!) His therapists are so pleased with him. I was able to watch both OT and PT this week and in OT Miss Caroline said that she is anxious to do his reevaluation because there is so much progress. He stacked 4 blocks for the first time this week. It took him a long time because he was coming down too hard with the blocks and he wasn't getting them lined up enough to make more than 2 balance.

So proud!

• The Titus 2 day I already shared. It was so fabulous! I really wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. The last few months I have been wishing it would never come because I didn't think I would be ready, but the last week couldn't go fast enough! And of course, Randy deserves huge praise for being so willing to care for the boys and man the home front. I think I am taking a break for a while!
• The windows are done! Whew! They finished this month on the 15th and the 19th we went and ordered the rest to finish up the house. We had planned to do a few at a time, but dealing with the installation process has made us only want to have to go through that one more time. And then we will be ready for summer.

March Requests:

• Justin's constipation problems. Not a pretty subject, but always on our minds here in our home. We really hoped this would be at least lessened by some help from endocrin, but it wasn't to be so we are still trying to work this through. I am already worried about potty training since it is so painful for him I know it's not going to be easy. I am not satisfied with giving him miralax every day, although the pediatrician would be okay with this solution. Now we are using apple juice (just a few ounces a day), prunes, yogurt, and probiotic. I know he doesn't eat enough fiber, so we are trying to address that. His drinking is improving so at least I feel he getting enough liquid. Any other ideas would be welcomed.
• We are taking both boys to the dentist this month. Travis already told me that he doesn't want to go. And I am not sure how Justin will do at all. At least he will open his mouth when I ask. I suspect he will scream the entire time, which should have the same result!

Thank you all for reading and praying!